::been another long day..so long after my event..i am starting to work on my i&e statement..hahaz..it's 80% complete...so it's almost done..tml go back and touch up should be ok already...

read some blogs earlier on...and came across an entry tt really set me thinking...and i sort of disapprove with wat the writer had mentioned...but also agree on some parts though....

my first point...man are not heartless...it's just tt guys are much adaptable to changes in surrounding..therefore..it seems like man changes heart or feelings easily...guys can readily make changes for the changes in his surroundings...not becos guys dun feel anything...but it;s just tt guys can make changes for the ppl they loved...and try not to give them too much pressure...but it's tt sometimes girls dun understand...and the guy will try to make the girl understand...but if she does not understand it..the guy most prob will just leave it there as it is..cause he knows that it's pointless to explain further...

isn't it better to remain constant rather then lost..but it just reach a point of time when the amount of commitment will be imbalance...and tt's life...nothing's fair in this world...if the world is fair...bill gates wun be the richest man...and there will be no more saints or devils....in regards to a relationship...guys are the ones who usually go after the girls...so it's defenitely the guys will be the sweeter one in the front stages...then following after tt..if the girl starts to fall in love with the guy..there will always be a point by which the feelings start to balance up and life goes to normal...it's not tt the guys only cherish the front parts...and start to lose interest...but it's just tt..maybe sometimes girls think tt guys should take the initiatives and always be the ones doing all the stuffs...it's true that guys should take initiatives...but it's a relationship...we need both hands to clap...don't we...we cannot always be the one to start everything..there are situations where the ladies should have their say first...but it usually happen at the wrong situations...

second point...guys ain't made of a steel heart and we pump blood..not oil...guys can feel pain too...tt's not an exclusve right to anyone..cause every human is entitled to that...so dun take tt out for the guys...after putting so much effort into a single relationship...and seeing it fail right in front of a guy's face..it's not something bearable...but it's just tt guys swallow their pain and not let it out to everyone...

it's not a fake anyone during the honeymoon period...but at tt moment of time...the girl are usually still unsure of their feelings...whereas the guy has already put in 100%...therefore...the guy would certainly remain constant after the honeymoon period..so after tt period of time...the girl might fall deeper in love...or fall out of love..no one knows...and if ur love for tt certain him has increased...the girl cannot expect the guy to increas at the same time..cause from the start...the guy has already been in 100%...but if more expectations are heaped onto the guy's shoulders...it might cause tt feeling to drop..cause the guy feels tt he cannot love u the way he did anymore..cause wat u want...is what he cannot give..

i dunno why i am writing this...and if that writer sees this...i am sorry...no offence..but it's just my point of view..

need a break...see ya guys later...::

.:Ah Hao blogged on 9:38 PM:.
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::wah wah wah...wat a boring day...as again..another boring hoilday...haha...felt lonely sia...alll the buddies are all in army..or on attachements..or just plainly disappeared...hahaz..suddenly i felt tt the world is actually quite lonely...

as usual..woke up late again...suppose to go school today...in the end i din attend...or should i say i din go...cause there was nth to attend to...hahaha...lame right..lolx...must start planning for wat to do for the rest of the week already...hahaz...if not i will be so bored till i die...weekend is going to be another killer...

but i felt so peaceful lately..dunno why..but it is just like that lohx...and i just discovereds i can type with 4 fingers on my left hand....but only 2 on my right...funny yea..hehe....

think tt is the result of boredom at home...someone ask me out pls...whoever is reading this blog...

ask me out...i am free...::

.:Ah Hao blogged on 9:37 PM:.

::back from supper..unable to fall asleep..so here i am blogging...wasted my weekend away as usual...hahaz..lost 60 dollars in mahjong on friday night...shall ban myself for mahjong for a while...hahaz..

then went for steamboat with cousins on sat..then back home for the rest of the night..after playing some dota..as usual...got thrashed..lolx...

dunno wat to write..but just felt like blogging...

so here i am blogging...

so blog i shall...

and blog i did..

got to go...need to get some sleep...nights..::

.:Ah Hao blogged on 2:18 AM:.
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::hahaz....back from the class chalet...though we din do alot..but we still have fun ya..hehe..like the chit chats and the bbq..the attempt to clear all the food..the lousy charcoal..and not forgetting the "ah tiang" stories..haha..it was memorable..hope it was for the rest too...and u did a great job ivan...dun worry..hehe...

the chalet was sort of refreshing..bringing me away from school work for a few days...sat down and think quite alot for the past two days..and reflected on the past...was there some things that i should have done or should no have...and my priorities...it has been sort of mind wrenching...and i am still turing ard in circles and unable to come to a decision as to wat i want to do for all the stuffs that went thru my mind...

should i try to salvage it..or should i try to repair it and then live normally..or should i just let time heal everything...it's confusing..there are prices to pay for each of the choices i came out with...i dunno if i am still as deeply in love or the feeling has already left me long ago..it seems to come and go at times...and it's not doing me any good...i feel like talking to her sometimes..and sometimes i dun...i think i am going mad..i dun wanna see her like this emotinally...but othere than that..it seems like she has been leading a more fulfilling life currently..with the frenship she had mustered and strengthened over the past month...being able to talk with her frens more...hanging out with her frens..then it made me think about wat should i do...cause i am afraid too..afraid of implicting hurt on her..haiz...i am puzzled..tell me wat i should do...can someone lead the way and show me the light..or at least tell me how u are feeling...haiz...

as for me..the past month has been exams and exams and exams...only this week i had some time to really think of all the stuffs other than school...it seems tt time really will make things better or should i say time has healed the wound...i dunno and i am really puzzled...and it seems like ppl who can give advice are not neccesary able to handle their own problems...in the past...i offered advicess to my frens ard me..handling their problems..analyzing the problem for them and most of the times..solved it for them..but i cannot solve my own problems now...i cannot truly say tt i dun love her anymore...cause i still miss her at times...but i know the amount of hurt i had given to her..and somemore it was during the most critical period of time..i dunno how is she feeling now..cause we haven been really talking..other than occasional smses i send to her..asking abt how she is and some other stuffs...i had wanted to try to start the topic about us..but i always cannot find the opportunity or should i say i am afraid...i think i am afraid..and i really am now..

someone advice me pls...::

.:Ah Hao blogged on 10:35 PM:.
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::ARGH!!!!!!!!!

i cannot possibly belieed wat happened to me today.....wat in the world was i thinking abt...screwed up manz...i did something that almost all human can nvr do...so today i was classified as a God bahz..

i F*****g left out a 25 mark qn in my paper and i submitted it without realising it half an hour after the paper...wat the *tootz*...feeling damn screwed....

%^*&^@&*^#&@*#&^@
the above signs are telling u how was my day today...14 sep 2005...screwed up day...i msged my tutor after tt....apologised for m mistake and he replied me with "do not worry its ok"
i dunno wat in the world tt meant...is he tryign to tell me it's ok tt u left out the qn...and then it's ok to repeat the module...or is he trying to tell m e tt he might try to help me out with this prolem..i certainly hope it is the latter case..pray hard fo me peeps...really feiing damn screwed...tell me wat to do...argh...

no mood to blog further....shall blog next time bahz.tata..going to study for my next paper le..::

.:Ah Hao blogged on 9:50 PM:.
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::back to blog....

had a long long weekedn...let's start from friday....went out with my dear cousins...and i really must say tt they are really dear cousins....haha...supposed to stayover in school on friday..but i went out b4 going back to school...went over to double o with them...and wat a choice to go to double o....although the drinks are cheap but my cousins really splurge alot on them manz..a jug of screwdriver and vodka ribena as a warm up...followed by a tray of tequila shots...then two trays of sex by the beach and lastly one more tray of tequila shots to end everything...it was really super deper high for me in the end...they like pushed all the drinks to me...and b4 i met them...i finished up the remaining half of the bottle we have left at halo with ken and kx...so tt night i drank alot...hahaz..was walking ard inside double o for dunno how long...sat down with ah shen to talk talk abit...poured out all my emotions...and tt's one of the things i remembered doing b4 i left double...wat's more remarkable was tt i actually talked to some lady inside double o..but i could not remember wat i actually said...hahaaz...but it was just a casual chat..and she looks way much older than me...hahaz...then after tt the lights came on and i left for school alone on a cab...could not remember how much was the cab fare...but i did pay the cabby...reached school and fell asleep all the way till 630...

went for the yellow ribbon walk..but not b4 vomitting the residue of wat i had consumed the night b4...lolx...ya..it was a long walk...surely longer than the 3.5km they told us about...liars..hahaz...then after tt went back home and slept till ard 7 pm...lili called me...then i went out to meet her at 10 plus...to meet her to study...haven seen her for a long while already...so it was nice to see an old fren..so we spent the whole night studying at the mac at hougang green till mornig when we really could not take it and decided to call it a night...lolx...met two of her frens too...talked rot while studying the whole night...but not after they moved next to our table...and my "greedy" ears heard wat they said and they were laughing abt it..lolx..

ok..woke up at 3 today...shortly aftr i woke up...ah lai called...ask mi go play soccer at blk 440 yishun...so i went...the pitch was more like a swimming pool...hahaz..but enjoyed myself today...played well too...assisted the first goal..and in the end we won...6-4 the final score..hahaz...high scoring huh..buy 9+ goals...sure win alot sia...hahaz...i finally got to know her blog add..and read her blog and her tag board...saddens me to see wat she wrote..and also wat her frens tagged at her board...but to be fair..everyone can say wat they want..and i even came across someone who even says tt he will break the union windows..be careful with wat u say huh..lolz...if the windows do really break...then u have nowhere to hide...lolx..btu i am not really affected by wat her frens said...just felt tt i dunno if i had made a correct choice...but it has already moved to such a stage already...stuck in between...dunno wat i want..confusing...haiz...then i msged her...and she replied..but it was more of those how are you msgs lahz...behaving more like starngers now...but i really got no solution to that..but tt's the only thing that will happen for now i guess...cause i dunno where to go too...

confuse,confusing,confused...::

.:Ah Hao blogged on 11:08 PM:.
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