::hahaz....back from the class chalet...though we din do alot..but we still have fun ya..hehe..like the chit chats and the bbq..the attempt to clear all the food..the lousy charcoal..and not forgetting the "ah tiang" stories..haha..it was memorable..hope it was for the rest too...and u did a great job ivan...dun worry..hehe...

the chalet was sort of refreshing..bringing me away from school work for a few days...sat down and think quite alot for the past two days..and reflected on the past...was there some things that i should have done or should no have...and my priorities...it has been sort of mind wrenching...and i am still turing ard in circles and unable to come to a decision as to wat i want to do for all the stuffs that went thru my mind...

should i try to salvage it..or should i try to repair it and then live normally..or should i just let time heal everything...it's confusing..there are prices to pay for each of the choices i came out with...i dunno if i am still as deeply in love or the feeling has already left me long ago..it seems to come and go at times...and it's not doing me any good...i feel like talking to her sometimes..and sometimes i dun...i think i am going mad..i dun wanna see her like this emotinally...but othere than that..it seems like she has been leading a more fulfilling life currently..with the frenship she had mustered and strengthened over the past month...being able to talk with her frens more...hanging out with her frens..then it made me think about wat should i do...cause i am afraid too..afraid of implicting hurt on her..haiz...i am puzzled..tell me wat i should do...can someone lead the way and show me the light..or at least tell me how u are feeling...haiz...

as for me..the past month has been exams and exams and exams...only this week i had some time to really think of all the stuffs other than school...it seems tt time really will make things better or should i say time has healed the wound...i dunno and i am really puzzled...and it seems like ppl who can give advice are not neccesary able to handle their own problems...in the past...i offered advicess to my frens ard me..handling their problems..analyzing the problem for them and most of the times..solved it for them..but i cannot solve my own problems now...i cannot truly say tt i dun love her anymore...cause i still miss her at times...but i know the amount of hurt i had given to her..and somemore it was during the most critical period of time..i dunno how is she feeling now..cause we haven been really talking..other than occasional smses i send to her..asking abt how she is and some other stuffs...i had wanted to try to start the topic about us..but i always cannot find the opportunity or should i say i am afraid...i think i am afraid..and i really am now..

someone advice me pls...::

.:Ah Hao blogged on 10:35 PM:.
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